(Give the wedgie a fond tug.) Somewhere out there, freshmen boys are keeping the lowest possible profile in the hallways, hoping to avoid senior football players, who seek to wedgie them or worse, and this is a good thing, in that it's a firsthand lesson in the human condition: Sometimes life stinks. 'I still don't want to go to school tomorrow.'
We all tried to get each other's underwear. 'Just got one of the worst wedgies in the world yesterday,' someone who calls himself Wedgie-a-Lot and claims to be in the eighth grade confided recently to a Web site devoted to all manner of underwear shenanigans, where anonymous wedgie givers and receivers share their feelings:
With millions of children scuttling back to those woefully substandard schools we keep reading about, it's reassuring to discover that the wedgie is alive and kicking: